Welfare And Food Stamp Lifers Are Shaking In Their Boots After Trump Makes This Announcement

It really is going to be this simple.

After decades of Democrats trying desperately to buy the votes of people too lazy to work or unwilling to buy food for their families with the free money we all pay for, Donald Trump has come up with a simple, cost-effective community policing concept he says he will implement on day one of his presidency.

On January 21st, a service will be set up that will allow any mobile phone or tablet user to instantly contact a welfare fraud prevention task force with information about suspected abuse. You may think this is already something your state has in its arsenal against fraud, but you are most likely wrong. Governor Chris Christie, an expert on fraud, told USA Today that your state is nowhere near equipped to deal with the sheer volume of fraud going on:

“Sure, you can call your state and tell them someone was buying steak and lobster with their food card, but they have no way to track those people unless you happen to catch them getting in their Cadillacs and Mercedes Benzes. This system will fix all of that.”

The system is simple. If you see someone in line at the grocery store with a cart full of junk food or premium meats, you’ll be able to log on to the fraud prevention network, tell them the store, the register number and the time and they’ll take care of the rest. The EBT card used will be flagged and investigated by local police deputized by the federal government.

The same goes if you see someone talking on a $700 iPhone, wearing expensive jewelry, getting expensive tattoos and body piercings or driving away from the food store in an Escalade Take a picture of their license plate and Trump’s fraud prevention team will take care of the rest.

“We’re expecting people to report those ‘single mothers’ who collect welfare while their boyfriends work or sell drugs,” said a Trump spokesman, “we have to stop sending Americans to work and taking huge chunks of their paychecks so these scavengers can stay home or worse — double dip off the government.”

Once again Donald Trump proves he’s just not messing around. Personally, I can’t wait until the first time I see someone at the Qwik-E-Mart buying beer and cigarettes and blunt wrappers with my money. It’ll be the last time!

About Flagg Eagleton 594 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.