President Trump’s office made three phone calls this morning to recruit a top-notch team of independent, unbiased investigators to look into the Clinton Foundation’s involvement with drug smuggling, human trafficking and support for terrorism connected to the fleet of cargo ships they used to move their supplies across the globe.
First, he called Congressman Trey Gowdy to lead the investigation because of his superior skills at seeing through partisan crap. Next, he called Sheriff Richard Clark, who immediately accepted and resigned from his position in Cleveland.
Last — but certainly not least — he added a voice with a ton of experience telling the public the truth and an entire career enforcing the laws of our nation, Judge Jeanine Pirro. Judge Pirro, says WHOIP Director Jeff Derpinger-Smith, will add a flare that the real news networks like Fox and real news publications like Breitbart:
“Who isn’t tired of watching Whoopi Goldberg give her opinion to some feminist who doesn’t care what happens in the real world? These women think because they have vaginas that they deserve to make more money and make all of our choices. Sorry, ladies. We’re giving the world Judge Jeanine.”
The three will embark on a fact-finding mission to find out exactly who owned what, who knew what and who profited from the spread of drugs, crime, refugees and terrorism.