Kim Jong Un Dead: North Koreans Calling Trump An Assassin

The only person allowed to cast a ballot that counts in the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea is dead of an apparent high-powered gunshot wound to the head. North Korean State Television says the bullet came from the sniper rifle of an American positioned more than a mile away.

The report comes shortly after North Korea successfully tested a long-range ICBM capable of reaching Alaska and possibly Hawaii. Trump promised swift and appropriate action. This seems to be it. Liberals will cry murder and say we don’t have the right just before they remind us of how many civilians died in Iraq when a president refused to use a single bullet to end Saddam Hussein and instead dragged us to war for a decade.

The Trump administration, State Department, Pentagon and any general or admiral available all deny the allegations, calling Kim a “despicable man” with “a world full of enemies.” President Trump hasn’t answered the allegations at all, simply telling a reporter from CNN that they’re better off “making up fake news rather than trying to understand how policy works.”

For now, the family that runs North Korea is trying to figure out the next step. Installing the next in the line without properly addressing the issue could end with no Kims left to hold power.

About Flagg Eagleton 584 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.