BREAKING: Hillary Clinton’s Death Ruled A Suicide

Hillary Clinton’s untimely death came at her own hand, according to the Westchester County Coroner’s Office:

“Mrs. Clinton appears to have died from an overdose of dilaudid. How she got hold of enough hospital grade opiate to kill herself is a mystery, but the signs are clear. The needle had only one set of fingerprints and cameras inside the home confirm she was alone when she died.”

 BREAKING REPORT: Hillary Clinton Dead By Her Pool In New York

A year ago there would be no question that something was fishy about Clinton committing suicide but now — Hillary Clinton isn’t exactly the face of hope and joy. She had zero future prospects and by all accounts, the feds are closing in on her husband for murdering the woman who died in their guest house on the Chappaqua Property.

For now the media is being silent and waiting for the DNC to tell them what to say. Trump is preparing a statement and Bill Clinton, who hasn’t been seen or heard from throughout this ordeal, is refusing to talk to anyone.

It would almost be poetic justice if it turned out Hillary was a victim of a murder that was made to look like a suicide, wouldn’t it? Still, this kind of thing is awful. At least we won’t have to spend millions to keep her in prison until she’s 90.

About Flagg Eagleton 594 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.