If You Voted For Donald Trump You’re About To Be Very Happy You Did

The Trump administration is trying to put the “popular vote” myth to bed once and for all. In order to do that, they need everyone who voted for the president to go to their local city or town hall or other municipal authority and sign an affidavit stating that you did, in fact, vote legally for Donald trump and the date you voted if you voted early or by mail.

In return for your time, everyone who fills out and signs the affidavit will be compensated for their time and travels by the federal government at the rate of $500. The cost of the campaign will be charged to the DNC, who filed for a national recount in federal court this morning.

Clinton supporters will be able to fill out affidavits as well but they won’t receive any compensation. Once again, it sucks to be them.

The recount will commence on Monday, March 20th. No appointment is necessary. All you need to do is bring 2 forms of ID and a long form of your birth certificate to your local election bureau and they’ll cut you a check when your affidavit is complete and verified that you voted trump.



About Flagg Eagleton 594 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.