Hillary Clinton, who won the November election by more than 3 million votes but was denied the presidency because the Russians hacked voting machines in three states, will be charged with treason for her crimes. Along with running a charity that spent more than 90 percent of its revenue on charity but was flagged as corrupt because people who say “Allah” instead of “God” donated to it, Clinton was also responsible for placing classified material on a private server — which isn’t really a crime — but who cares?
On top of all of that, Clinton was also the person in charge of the State Department when a terrorist attack happened in Benghazi, making her personally responsible for the deaths of four Americans, even though years of investigations by seven committees concluded she wasn’t. She is also accused of murdering Vince Foster into committing suicide and covering up Chappaquiddick.
In addition to the treason charges, Clinton will also face prosecution for defending a rapist after a judge ordered her to and making sure he got a jail sentence rather than a walk. She faces an additional 5 years if convicted.
It’s not yet certain if the former First Lady, Senator and Secretary of State will face charges for faking the moon landing, killing JFK or serving as executioner for the Illuminati in the 1990s, but certainly those things aren’t off the table.
Meanwhile, Donald Trump continues making America Great again by placing bankers, science deniers and unstable generals in positions of power to help him “drain the swamp” of people who disagree with him and stifle the reporting power of news outlets in lieu of the new official State News Agency: Twitter.
In case you’re wondering, yes. This is a satire site and we’ve been laughing at you idiots for months now. You will believe and share anything. It has been our pleasure to bring you ridiculous garbage you could have easily Googled the truth about but decided to instead share absurd stories only an imbecile would believe.
While the story has now come to an end because of the crackdown on fake news and the reality that you inbred scumbags might show up at some pizza place shooting your guns because you really are that dumb, we look forward to the next chapter of trolling the sh*t out of you, you douchebags.
For now, this is Busta Troll, liberal on the Soros payroll, saying farewell, thanks for the laughs and the pile of cash. You can rest easier at night knowing I was able to give up all of my free government stuff because a-holes like you are as dumb as you look.