Coroner: Body Isn’t Her-Hillary Clinton Faked Her Own Death

Hillary Clinton is gone. No, not dead…just gone. By the time the coroner got the lab results back from the supposed body of Hillary Clinton and discovered that it was an imposter, Hillary was nowhere to be found.

In the ruckus and confusion surrounding her untimeley demise, a suicide ruling that was then rolled back and the national attention something like this gains, the Butcher of Benghazi slipped away unnoticed, most likely to a small island nation somewhere with no extradition treaty.

Former President Bill Clinton, who was grieving with his daughter when he got the news, said he wouldn’t put it past her and that all of the shenanigans she pulled over the years are finally over:

“My wife is a strong woman who wasn’t afraid to do what needed to be done to get ahead. To do this means she knew she would be getting caught soon. I understand her reasonuing but I don’t agree with her decision or her actions. She may not be dead but she is dead to me.”

Had it not been for the misrepresentation of a corpse for identification purposes, no crime was committed, and that crime only carries a 6 month sentence. For Clinton to do something this drastic leaves far too many unanswered questions.

Federal investigators have no order to seek out or apprehend Clinton, so if she decides to sit on a sunny beach somewhere until she dies, she’ll probably never be heard from again.

About Flagg Eagleton 594 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.