Charges Filed Against Hillary Clinton For Election Fraud

It looks like the 3 million illegals who voted for Hillary Clinton are going to come back to haunt her. Or maybe that’s all the dead people who voted for her. Or…maybe it’s the illegally dead people. There are so many ridiculous stories out there it’s hard to get them all straight.

Anyway, when it was reported that Clinton wiped the floor with Trump in the general election when it comes to the popular vote by about 3 million, Trump supporters and yes, even the Donald himself, had to come up with a reason why. What they invented was so absurd that it fit with the narrative of most conservative news outlets perfectly: millions of illegals, just enough to give her the win, are the reason Trump’s electoral victory will always have an asterisk.

Now, along with being the second Democrat in as many decades to have an election stolen from under their nose by an incompetent buffoon, Clinton has been formally charged with 3 million counts of election fraud. The court of the American Patriot Militia III%er Don’t Tread On Us Christians For Trump, run by a guy named Randall out of his grandfather’s homemade bunker, has informed Clinton by way of a message on their Facebook Page:

There’s no telling if Clinton will show up to be tried in Randall’s grandfather’s bunker, but sources tell us that he has enough bottled water and canned peaches to wait her out for a while. Hopefully she doesn’t need to travel anywhere, as Randall has distributed a picture of her to all airports and train stations along with a copy of the arrest warrant:

Maybe once she’s finally brought to justice we can put all of this behind us, but probably not. Until then, all you patriots can sit and have a gander at this here brainteaser:


About Flagg Eagleton 594 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.