According to a high-level Trump staffer with documents authenticated by Rick Harrison, Team Donald Trump will be running for President of the United States under the banner of the “American Party.” The cover of the proposal, sent to all members of the Tea Party and Freedom Caucus, declares it a “plan to rid our country of the divisiveness of partisan politics.”
Trump will be the first nominee of the party and is expected to win the general election in a landslide. Once executive power is established, members of the truly patriotic right will jump ship, giving the new party a 4 seat majority over the Democrats and Republicans.
Hearing the news, Majority Leader Mitch McConnell said that the United States was doomed:
“If the far-right has its way we will go further back than the traditional Republican Party is willing to go. These people would bring back slavery if they could.”
House minority leader Nancy Pelosi said the formation of a 3rd party under Trump would be the final piece in the puzzle of fascism:
“What’s next? Will he make the Secret Service wear brown shirts and round up all the ‘undesirables?'”
They’re all just afraid of what is going to happen when the people of this country get rid of all of them and put real patriots in their seats.