BREAKING: Trump Revokes White House Press Credentials From Foreigners

After what was a fantastically successful press conference today that left the fake news media reeling and the real reporters from Fox, Breitbart and Gateway Pundit smiling, President Trump made the decision to eliminate foreign influence from the White House Press Room. In a statement from the Information and Propaganda office, it was announced that only American reporters would be welcome:

President Trump feels that if we are going to control the narrative we need to have an exclusively American press corps. For that reason, foreign reporters will receive an official statement from this office to bring back to their countries and report on.

The President could be seen at today’s presser getting aggravated with the BBC and others who seem to insist that the world outside of our borders for some reason matters to those of us living here. As residents of the greatest country on earth and the one that matters more than all others, it’s natural for us to want to hear about our land from our reporters.

The BBC and Univision and all the rest can take their press packets and go back home and report on bangers and mash or futbol or whatever else it is that matters over there. This is America. What matters here is what our President tells us.

About Flagg Eagleton 584 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.