In an unprecedented act that will go down in history as the greatest thing to happen to public schools since the invention of the chalkboard, President Trump ordered that our children once again be allowed to pray in their classrooms. Executive order 2097898i86 states:
Whereas The Unites States was founded as a Christian nation with Christian principles, its children shall be allowed to pray Christian prayers in its public schools. It is hereby deemed to NOT be an issue of separation of church and state as neither the church nor the state are involved.
Prayer shall be held each morning before the pledge of allegiance. Each student is welcome to pray however he or she chooses.
Whereas the United States is at war with Radical Islam, their religion shall NOT be worshipped in our public schools. Students wishing to pray to the pagan moon god are welcome to do so at home or on the sidewalk outside the school. This provision will expire when ISIS is destroyed and all jihadists have been eliminated from the planet.
This is certainly good news. Since we stopped allowing school prayer, murder rates have risen 700 percent and school shootings have risen 1200 percent. School prayer is what grounds our children to God in the morning and reminds them that their religion is so much more important than the nonsense they’ll learn about “evolution” and “global warming” in their liberal science classes. Maybe that will be the next thing Trump fixes.