BREAKING: Trump Announces THE FIRST THING He’ll Sign As President–Obama FURIOUS

As tensions grow between outgoing usurper Barry Soetoro and incoming legally elected President Donald Trump, it’s becoming obvious that the new occupant of the White House will have the upper hand in every way imaginable. With another announcement today of what fate has in store for Obama and his future, Trump has made it clear that it won’t be in government…at all.

Trump announced today that he will utilize a little-known presidential power that allows him to control who stays on the payroll of the executive branch of government. Barack Obama, as his fake birth certificate calls him, along with his wife and kids and his wife’s mother will no longer be living on the government’s teet.

Kellyanne Conway made the announcement this morning on Fox and Friends to bombshell Abby Huntsman, who has no business as a journalist but looks great on the couch:

“As soon as he’s sworn in, the first thing PRESIDENT Trump will do is sign a termination order for Obama and his family, effectively ending their service and any and all future payments from the Federal government. The presidential pension plan only applies to those who are used for diplomatic relations and to go to state dinners and funerals. Bill Clinton will be getting a letter as well.”

In one fell swoop, Donald trump will rid the American public of two men we don’t need anymore and save the taxpayers over a million dollars a year in undeserved pensions, not to mention all the money saved on Secret Service protection. Obama and Clinton will need to find their own private security. They will also not be included in further security briefings.

In other words Bill and Barry: You’re fired.


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Trump is also expected to use several other presidential powers only he knows about, such as the “free Cheetos for life” provision of the 25th Amendment that can only be seen if you hold the original document up to an orange light and the lifetime membership into Sy Sperling’s Hair Club for Men. He will also enjoy a discount on Big Macs and all the Beefaroni he can eat, but only in Trump Tower, as that provision is written into New York and not federal law.

Also, in case you haven’t figured it out yet, you’re an idiot.

About Flagg Eagleton 594 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.