BREAKING: Ted Nugent Arrested For Faking His Own Death

Ted Nugent was arrested and charged this evening with wanton waste of the general fund and filing false police reports for perpetuating a hoax that took social media by storm. After creating a fake death scene and calling local channel WKLU NBC2, Nugent spent the rest of the day laughing it up while drinking iced tea at the local police station with his accomplices.

Two patrolmen from the Bozeman PD were also charged and relieved of their duties. The charges don’t actually stem from the hoax or the reporting of the hoax, which are both protected free speech; they stem from the wasted police resources and taxpayer money and the false official report. If convicted, Nugent could spend a year in jail and face over $1 million in fines.

It would have been much easier for Ted and his friends to just leak the story to an internet blog that could then disseminate it to the public. Then the charges wouldn’t be charges and the only repercussions would be the cries of “fake news” from the blog’s fans.

The Last Line of Defense, having fallen victim to this hoax, has been tarnished and is, therefore, seeking restitution from Mr. Nugent. As President Trump would say…See you in court, Ted.

About Flagg Eagleton 594 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.