BREAKING: Somebody Stole Alec Baldwin’s Emmy

The Los Angeles Police were called to the hotel room of Emmy-Award winning actor Alec Baldwin this morning…to investigate his stolen Emmy. Baldwin, who admits he went into a blackout drunken state shortly after the show, says he woke up with a severe headache realizing he’d been robbed:

“They took my wallet, all the Bud Light from my fridge and my Emmy. They left a note that said ‘We just made America great again.'”

The irony didn’t go unnoticed. Authorities say they don’t believe the thieves were there as Trump supporters. It is more likely they met Baldwin in a drunken stupor and found themselves standing in his living room while he peed in the vase in the corner.

Baldwin has announced a $100K reward for the return of his golden god.

About Flagg Eagleton 594 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.