BREAKING: Rev. Al Sharpton Murdered–2 Suspects In Custody Belong To Terrorist Group

The city morgue in Chicago is on lockdown after a black male matching Reverand Al Sharpton’s description became the latest victim of gun violence in Chicago. The local police have confirmed that a man was murdered outside of Sharpton’s home and that two men have been apprehended and charged with first-degree murder.

No further information is available other than the fact that the two men in custody are members of a domestic terrorist group. The group hasn’t yet been identified, but since black on black violence in Chicago is so common, it seems likely that this won’t be something liberals will be able to blame on “white privilege.”

We’ll update this story as soon as there’s more info.


UPDATE*** FALSE ALARM: Al Sharpton Alive And Well And Living In New Jersey

About Flagg Eagleton 594 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.