BREAKING: Monica Lewinsky’s Son’s Body Found Under ‘Suspicious Circumstances’

The body of Monica Lewinsky’s son, David, was found in Central Park just hours after he was discovered to be missing. The 28-year-old David had just left a casual breakfast with his half-sister, Chelsea, and was last seen turning into an alley near 3rd.

Police on the scene say David succumbed to asphyxia after his throat closed when he was stung by a bee. He was found with two EpiPens, but both were empty. David’s medical history reveals that he is highly allergic to bee stings. So why would he go through Central Park without an EpiPen and what the hell was he doing near 3rd in an alley?

David’s mother, Monica Lewinski, hasn’t been reached for comment but she was seen at the hospital crying as reports started coming out. The Clintons haven’t been available for comment and according to their spokesman, “they never will be. These people are scam artists.”

That would be the scam of the century, wouldn’t it? Monica Lewinsky has a kid only to kill him 28-years-later just to run an elaborate scam on Slick Willie.


About Flagg Eagleton 594 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.