BREAKING: Mitch McConnell’s Second Stroke Left Him With ‘Zero Chance Of Survival’

Mitch McConnell suffered a stroke this morning just before gaveling in the Senate for the day that doctors say would have left him paralyzed on the left side but alive. They changed that prognosis after McConnell suffered a second stroke in the hospital just after 4PM eastern.

Doctor Abigail Bartlett tried with everything she had to save McConnell but she says he’s too far gone:

“The Senator fought bravely but as of now he is gone. His brain function has ceased and his family has issued a do not rescuscitate order. We expect Mr. McConnell to pass by morning.”

The McConnell family has asked for privacy during this trying time. President Trump made a few comments about McConnell’s service but also wanted everyone to remember how he is also a traitor who killed the Obamacare repeal bill.

Next in line to be Senate Majority Leader is most likely either Rand Paul of Kentucky or Hal Lindsay of Vermont. Orin Hatch, the oldest Senator and Pro Tempore says he will always cherish the years he worked with McConnell.

On the other side of the aisle, Cory Booker, Elizabeth Warren and Chuck Schumer all expressed joy that McConnell was gone. Some people just have no class.

About Flagg Eagleton 584 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.