BREAKING: Michelle Obama’s Secret Service Detail Quits, Leaves Her Alone On Street

Michelle Obama’s nasty attitude has finally cost her bigly. The fierce First Lady, well-known for treating her Secret Service detail like animals, was screaming at them while walking down a street in Maui when they decided they had been her victim for the last time and walked away, leaving her alone and visibly frightened.

Michelle was forced to walk back to the hotel the First Family was spending your money to stay at all by herself while crowds of people gathered to throw lettuce at her and shout “Trump Trump Trump!!!” By the time she made it back she was in tears.

When he heard what her detail had done, President Obama shrugged and said, “what can I do, they don’t like her?”

The men and women who abandoned her would be in serious trouble had this not been yet another attempt to make rabid deplorables foam at the mouth over something absolutely ridiculous that never happened. Alas, you idiots need your daily dose of stupid, so here you go.

About Flagg Eagleton 594 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.