BREAKING: Mexico Agrees To Pay For The Wall

Mark this day down in your history books. At just after 6:30 AM Eastern, President Donald Trump finalized the beginnings of a deal that will see a 30 foot tall by 3 foot wide solid concrete wall along the entirety of the border between Mexico and the United States. Once the deal is signed, the wall’s construction will begin and should be completed within 2 years.

Trump made it happen not by appealing to Mexico’s government but to its economy. In an early morning meeting at Mar-a-Lago, 4 Mexican industrialists agreed to split the cost of the wall between them, meaning that Trump was right all along: The Mexicans will pay for the wall. According to the White House Information and Propaganda Office:

In return for for some industrial leverage and a guarantee against additional tarrifs against their businesses, four top-ranked Mexican companies, El Nortonia, La Dima del Vintere, Montenegro and Dos Equis ITL will split the cost of the US-Mexico border wall equally. Each company will provide $7.3 billion to the US Treasury general fund before the beginning of the third quarter of 2107.

So with his keen negotiating skills, Trump has secured that nearly $30 billion needed to build a magnificent wall that will be the grandest the world has ever seen. Democrats are already flipping out, calling the deal a travesty for the “undocumented workers of America” and complaining about how the companies may be unfairly compensated.

According to the budget office, the companies won’t be compensated by the US at all. Their products will receive lower tax rates and zero tariffs to come into the country and their outstanding tax bills, which is a combined $32 billion, will be excused. The president has promised that the tax write-offs will offset themselves in revenue increases once the wall is built.

In addition, the companies in question will have the opportunity to hire 80 percent of the labor force to build the wall. The other 20 percent will be comprised of American citizens in mostly managerial and engineering roles. Camps for the wall workers will be set up on the Mexican side of the border so there won’t be the technical issue of paying undocumented Mexican laborers for work on American soil.

It’s a win-win. The Mexicans will pay for the wall and even provide the labor to build it. How could it possibly get any better than that?

About Flagg Eagleton 594 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.