BREAKING: James Woods Takes A Bullet While Saving A Life

Actor, conservative icon and favorite son of Rhode Island, James Woods, is fighting for his life tonight in an intensive care unit in Bridgeport Connecticut. Woods, 67, took a bullet in the chest after stepping between a mugger and an innocent woman at just the right second to save her — and put his own in mortal danger.

Dr. Lou Siyouhaf Susplanen, DDOO, says that with the type of injury Woods has sustained, the shattered rib bone in the chest area is actually more deadly than the bullet, which exited the back without incident:

“The problem is there are little pieces of James in several vital organs. It will take several surgeries to get him out of ICU and then I would suspect he’s looking at upwards of 15 when he recovers, spread out over that many years.”

Woods, who not only saved the woman’s life but also managed to shoot and kill the mugger, is nothing short of an American hero. Rhode Island Governor Terrence McMann says he will be honored with the state’s highest civilian award, the Governor’s Cross.

Local radio station WLzx 100.5 in Providence says their “We’re with Woods” line is ringing nonstop and that they’re naming the hometown hero this year’s “AND He’s Not A Masshole” award for loving Rhode Island.

The Woods family has asked for privacy, and Seth MacFarlane, the creator of Family Guy and longtime associate of Woods, said, “He was probably the most likable douchebag I ever met.” Many of his longtime friends expressed the same sentiment. Hard-headed and obstinate, but always true to himself.



About Flagg Eagleton 594 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.