Breaking: Crew Of Air Force One Refuses To Fly Obama 6000 Miles ‘Just To Play Golf’

After eight years of flying to Chicago for White Castle burgers, bringing Michelle Obama to LA for the afternoon for a hair appointment and taking the Obama girls to a park they like in San Fransisco to walk the dog on the government dime, the crew of the famed Air Force One has said enough is enough.

Obama was set to leave Hawaii tomorrow, just for the day, to meet with a pal 6000 miles away for a round of golf. The Captain of the President’s plane told him that unless it was official business from the office of the President, he wasn’t obligated to fly him anywhere.

Obama will fly out on the Air Force Osprey they use to transport the family dog, BO, who was forbidden from traveling on the President’s big plane after he peed on the leg of the French foreign minister during one of Michelle Obama’s lavish vacations. The Osprey, which costs less to fly than a 747, is still going to cost the American taxpayer $2 million for the day.

It’s a fairly well-known fact that after about 150 words and a picture that may or may not be related, most conservative readers will stop reading and go comment that the Muslim should be executed for playing golf. Therefore, less than 20% of those who clicked this article will have made it this far.

This is where you find out that you are a pile of idiots; a mountain of mental illness. No, the President didn’t try to commandeer Air Force One for an afternoon of golfing. He’s on vacation in Hawaii, you morons. Please do us all a favor and wipe that angry look off of your face before you hurt yourselves. Also, if you could not take bullhonkey seriously and abuse the family pet or a local pizza place we’d greatly appreciate it.

Thanks in advance and as always, get bent, you stooges.



About Flagg Eagleton 594 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.