BREAKING: Bruce Jenner Just Made A Decision That Has Liberal Tears Flowing Like A River

Bruce Jenner, a staunch conservative and life-long member of the Republican party, has finally come to his senses after several years of what had to be agonizing confusion. He has decided that he no longer wants to be a “woman” named Caitlyn.

Jenner was just released from a voluntary treatment program offered by his church to help remove the demons and reverse the lies Satan has instilled in homosexuals, lesbians and cross-dressers. Through the miracle of prayer and acceptance of God’s love, Bruce Jenner is himself again and embracing living out his days as a man. Jenner told MSNBC:

“I knew when Trump won that things in America were changing and I decided that I would have to get help for my mental issues. I am not a woman in a man’s body, I’m Bruce Jenner, Olympic gold medalist and father. God helped me realize that the truth will set us all free.”

Jenner plans to write a book about his experiences and to tour the country talking to other tortured souls who have decided to take the life God gave them and change it to something only a liberal can understand. Together with his children, he says, he’ll be able to overcome the damage he’s done by pretending to be something he’s not.

This is just more proof that God exists and that if you ask Him for help, you will be redeemed. God bless you, Bruce Jenner. And God Bless the USA and President Trump.



About Flagg Eagleton 594 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.