BREAKING: Barack Obama Had A Man Murdered (DETAILS)

A man Barack Obama has known virtually all of his life has been found dead, murdered by what the medical examiner calls “the most effective poison on the planet.” Silwell¬†Nelson, childhood friend and confidant of Obama’s well into adulthood, was 54.

The coroner, Harvey Leonard of Chicago’s St. Hope hospital says that Nelson would have been ruled a heart attack and death by natural causes had he not been trained by the United States Special Forces:

“In my days in the service I performed autopsies on people who didn’t officially exist, many of whome were spies or double agents. Spotting the signs of poisoning is an artform very few people know.”

Chicago Police Chief Ward Wilson says that Nelson’s family is lucky for the coincidence. There are 14 coroners in Chicago and because of Obama’s presidency, they’re all busy all the time:

“Our MEs are living in a war zone. For a simple heart attack to end up on Harvey’s slab is a miracle.”

Former President Barack Obama became the number one suspect when police found pictures and letters from him to Nelson in a hope chest in his apartment. Detective Jackson Lewis says the evidence is substantial:

“What we have here is correspondence between two lovers. We’re sure of it. Toward the end it got increasingly hostile and Obama ended up sending at least a dozen ‘stop contacting me’ letters.”

Police figure Nelson probably threatened to go public and he was killed for it. They say the tricky part will be proving it, but…isn’t it always with these high powered politicians?



About Flagg Eagleton 584 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.