BREAKING: An Obama Was Just Indicted For Fraud–But It’s Not Who You Think

A member of the First Family will face fraud charges early in 2017, but it isn’t who you might think. President Obama is certainly guilty of fraud for his use of a fake birth certificate and for pretending he’s a Christian and Michelle Obama is certainly guilty for the $180 million in lavish vacations and 200 staffers she keeps to walk her dog and weed her garden on the taxpayer’s dime, but they seem to be impervious to any kind of action against them.

Malia, however, isn’t going to be so lucky. It seems that while putting in her paperwork to go to school at Harvard, the oldest Obama daughter, who recently turned 18, lied on her financials and failed to disclose the $9 million she has ion the bank. That’s not an issue with the school, as she’s going on a full scholarship for being the daughter of a president, but it didn’t bode well with the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.

That’s because Malia decided that she would fail to disclose her assets when she applied for food stamps. Yes, you heard that right. Obama has trained the youth of America to be so dependent on the government that even his own daughter thought she was entitled to free stuff just because she’s not technically working.

Malia will be arraigned in Massachusetts Superior Court in Cambridge the first week of January, as soon as her family is finished taking yet another Hawaiian vacation on the backs of hard working American patriots.

Malia Obama looks distraught after hearing she won’t get free stuff and that she could go to jail for trying


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While this story is ridiculous and can in no way be verified, conservatives tend to not reads below the pictures of Patriotic pets. It is here that we can gather to point at them and laugh as they head back to the Facebook page to make an immediate connection between Malia, food stamps and black people.

Yes, it really is that predictable.

About Flagg Eagleton 594 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.