Beyonce, Springsteen, Rachel Platten Suing Hillary Clinton For This Hilarious Reason

Three stars of the music industry who were paid millions to perform for Hillary Clinton’s sad little campaign rallies and/or at the Democratic national Convention are suing her, but not for what you might think. Their contracts were fullfilled, to the tune of more than  $40 million, but they are now concerned that their “brands” have been tarnished because of the lies about Clinton’s so-called “guaranteed win.”

The suit, which will name nor only Clinton but media outlets like CNN and the New York Times, will allege a conspiracy to deceive the American people into believing she would win the election no matter what, thereby making the stars look foolish for backing her. Bruce Springsteen’s manager, Lawrence McErnerny, told Rolling Stone that there was no way his client would have ever backed “the losing horse in the biggest race of all time.”

Beyonce, who was unavailable for comment, was lured into a performance in a pantsuit that one of her personal assistants told In Touch Magazine was now the most embarrassing moment of her career.

Rachel Platten, who lent her hit “Fight Song” to the Clinton campaign at the DNC, told Fox News that she was assured that the video she made with Clinton crony Elizabeth Banks and dozens of other stars would be the defining moment of her career. “They were right,” said Platten, “I’m now defined as the woman who tried to force a lie down America’s throat. Plus, I really, REALLY hate that video.”

The three stars are still in talks with attorneys about whether to file separately or together.

About Flagg Eagleton 594 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.